Students who enroll in my classes are often empaths. An empath is not to be confused with someone who has empathy for others. Empathy allows one to experience
heartfelt joy or sorrow in response to another’s good fortune or distress. Empaths, on the other hand, often have a paranormal ability to detect the emotions, mental states, and physical pain of another person and are unable to prevent taking on the energy of others. They may feel the distress, pain or emotion in their own body to a degree that impairs their quality of life.
All human beings are innately intuitive. In earlier times, many communities fostered these abilities, provided context, and developed protocols for using these talents to benefit the community. The gifted often became leaders, shamans, and healers. This changed with the advent of worldwide religions and, later, with the modern focus on “provable facts.” Those with paranormal abilities rarely had a context for, or understanding of, their experience, which was often discounted, discredited, or even endangered them.
Growing up, I unwittingly absorbed energy from any environment I found myself in. I had no inkling of what was happening to me. When I went to the mall and came home exhausted, I just thought shopping was tiring. I lived much of my life in a state of exhaustion, believing I was lazy, lacking will, or somehow innately defective. My understanding changed dramatically after I began to practice Reiki.
As a very green Level I practitioner, I gave a Reiki session to an older woman who had had a hip replacement and was experiencing a high level of pain. When I placed my hands on her hip, I felt an intense wave of nausea. I passed out, crashing into a bookcase on my way to the floor. For a couple of hours after coming to, I sat immobile, almost in a catatonic state, and I was exhausted for much of the following week. Although I was clueless, the recipient knew exactly what had happened to me: “You have no protection. You will not put your hands on me again until you figure this out.”
I had been taught, as many Reiki practitioners are, that it is impossible to take on another person’s energy when you are giving Reiki. I soon learned, however, that other practitioners had had similar experiences. I began to address this with Reiki self-treatment and to develop protocols to protect myself when treating others. When I became a Reiki Master teacher, I began teaching my students ways to prevent taking on the energy of others and what to do when this happens.
Today, I rarely take on the energy of others, and when it happens, I immediately implement protocols to release the energy that is not mine. Combined with the wisdom I have gained through life experience and Reiki, being an empath has become a powerful asset rather than a detriment. It allows me to approach each client with a deep sense of compassion that is the essence of Reiki without absorbing their pain as mine. Inherent in that compassion are clear boundaries and strong intention.
For me, reaching this point was a solitary path. I didn’t search the internet for information about empaths—I didn’t know the word—or for gurus to light the way. Here’s what has worked for me:
- Daily self-Reiki, meditation, and prayer practiced with a heartfelt, intense desire for healing. (My daily prayer was, Heal ALL that needs to be healed in me that I may be of greater service to all with whom I come in contact and to the world.)
- A weekly treatment exchange with a Reiki colleague over a period of several years was transformative for both of us.
- Taking ART/Master and Karuna® Reiki training, which brought about tremendous self-healing as well as enhanced my Reiki skills.
- Giving Reiki sessions to others. I can’t overemphasize how much I learned—and healed—through placing my hands upon others and allowing Reiki to flow. Reiki “taught” me what to do for the client and for myself. I healed as the client healed.
- Continuing to receive regular treatments from colleagues keeps me energetically balanced and continues to provide valuable insights.
Through my own journey and through students who are empaths, I have learned that there are weaknesses (for lack of a better word) associated with being an empath that must be healed if one is to become an effective healer without detriment to oneself. A core weakness for me was the belief that I didn’t matter; everyone else did. It was my responsibility to make everything right for everyone else without regard for the toll it demanded of me. In some cases, an empath may feel special and willingly take on another’s distress or pain in the belief that making another person feel better is worth the price exacted from their own well-being. Sometimes empaths have spent so many years taking care of others and ignoring themselves that they lack a sense of self. They may find it impossible to say no to anyone. In others, the weakness is a heightened and misguided sense of compassion, which may be underpinned by pity for others. Transforming these weaknesses into strength is empowering and freeing for the practitioner. It creates greater well-being for both the client and practitioner. (I have found Karuna® Reiki to be extremely helpful for addressing these issues personally and with clients.) A good psychotherapist or counselor can be invaluable, as well.
Note: Students and colleagues who are empaths have found the following books helpful. Please join the conversation by adding a comment regarding your own experience and share any titles you would like to see added to the list.
Judy Dansdill, LMT, MA, Reiki Master, and Bodywork/Wellness Counselor, recommends the books, YouTube videos, and TED talks of the psychiatrist, Dr. Judith Orloff, a New York Times bestselling author who is on the UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty. Orloff specializes in treating empaths and sensitive people.
Jeremy Webb, one of my Master students who is also an empath, has found the following books helpful. His recommendations and comments:
The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine Aaron. A classic that talks about what being an empath is. It is more psychology/mainstream.
Self-Care for the Self-Aware: A Guide for Highly Sensitive People, Empaths, Intuitives, and Healers by Dave Markowitz. This book is from an energy/healer/intuitive perspective.
The Reluctant Empath by Bety Comerford and Steve Wilson. I could relate to many of the anecdotes and stories the authors tell.
Please add your voice to the conversation!
©2018 Marianne Streich, Reiki for Living. All rights reserved. For reposting permission, contact Marianne.
Marianne is a Seattle-Area Reiki Master Teacher and Practitioner. She is the author of Reiki: A Guide for the Practice of Levels I and IIanda former editor, contributor, and columnist for Reiki News Magazine. See her current class schedule.
I really like this article, Marianne. Such an important issue, this taking on another’s energy – and not as often discussed as would be useful. I particularly liked your going more deeply into some of the inner dynamics that led you to take on others’ energy. Thank you!
Monica
Thank you, Monica, for reading and commenting. I always appreciate your thoughtful insights! Marianne
Theresa McDaniel Grateful student Marianne Streich Reiki level 1 and 2
As Marianne stated in this blog, I also didn’t
know the “word” to describe my intense feelings and
reactions to certain people, animals or places. I would know if
someone was sick or pregnant before they would tell others or I
could smell or feel certain energy on a person or in a place that
meant specific things to me. It’s was confusing for years until
my guides started to gently communicate with me usually through
dreams or a knowing about a particular situation.
For more than 25 years I worked around trauma and death in a
surgical setting and I could naturally comfort people in noticeable
positive ways. On the other hand, I would take on a person’s sadness
or dense energies at my expense. I eventually had to leave intense
hospital work because of overwhelming burn out and becoming
physically sick while working in an intense environment for years.
I am still in the last stages of transitioning to my life’s purpose of
healing people on a different level now. I’m thrilled to accept my
expanded purpose and will fully embark upon a new career path.
I’ve read and studied hundreds of metaphysical, occult, and
spiritual books along the way. I was drawn to particular books on
intuitive subjects by Cyndi Dale, “The Spiritual Power of Empathy”
and “The Intuition Guidebook”.
These books were very helpful in describing the many levels of an
empathic or psychic personality type and how to cope with
the responsibilities and boundaries that a person can learn and
grow into. Also, the books give practical advice and exercises on how
to be aware of your senses, self care and how to communicate and
work with one’s guides or inner knowing. These books and other
information helped me to understand and accept the different
parts of nature that is beyond “mainstream” awareness if you will.
Thank you so much, Theresa, for your heartfelt response. You are an amazingly talented person on so many levels; you heal simply through your beautiful presence. I am excited to witness where your Reiki path will take you, and I am profoundly privileged to take part in your journey.
Thanks for the book recommendations, Theresa!
I had never hear the word empath until I became a Reiki practitioner and was introduced to energy healing and chakras.
I’m a hairstylist and after 10+ years of being a “hairapist” I got burn out and didn’t know why. Once I found out I was an empath everything in my life started making sense from the sensitivities I had as a kid, to why some strangers feel so comfortable with me and why some people hate me for no reason, (no mom it’s not because they’re jealous of me) and to why I felt like I was on a permanent emotional rollercoaster, and why I this strong desire to help and heal everyone! I am an empath! The best book for Empaths that I’ve read is The Empath Survival Guide by Judith Orloff! I highly recommend it and also like Marianne said daily self Reiki! Understanding that I was an empath and daily Reiki has changed my life!
Thank you for you comment, Jen, and for the book recommendation. I’m glad the post spoke to you, and I love hearing that Reiki has changed your life, as it has mine and so many others the world over. Warm regards, Marianne
I’m glad that I got in touch with this wonderful system, Reiki. It had helped me maintain my overall well-being and helped me maintain a balance of life. Thank you for teaching us about the benefits of Reiki through your blogs.
Thanks so much, Yuiko, for letting me know you appreciate the information in my blog posts. Even after teaching, practicing, and writing about Reiki for more than 19 years, I am still in awe of the benefits, the outcomes, and the gifts of this beautiful energy. It is always a delight to hear from others who are committed to the practice. Warm regards, Marianne
Thank you so much for speaking out. I have been figuring out things the last 2 years not understanding what I have felt my whole life. Now I’m 46 and with someone pointing out things to me lead me on the journey to start studying things. I have heal a few peoples legs and knees from a massage. I just thought I was a good deep muscle massager. I feel like my blood flows at night when I go to bed.. more thing continued. This article will help my new step in life. Hope all is well and hopefully could meet you one day.
Thank you, Tanya, for letting me know this post was helpful to you. My very best wishes to you as you progress on your healing/healer journey. Marianne
Hi! I recently started Reiki and did my first distance session with my brother who has been experiencing pain in his achilles heel for the last 2 weeks. During the session towards the end, I felt like I became out of it and almost passed out (which I didn’t think is supposed to happen). The next day, my ankle and heel were painful and I thought I must have hurt myself without knowing. When I spoke to my brother, he no longer had pain in his heel. I still had the pain days later and then my hubby wondered if I took the pain from my brother. I never even thought that that could happen so it didn’t even cross my mind (until he said it). I came across your article and was so surprised that I had a similar experience (passing out and having the pains of the person). I am also an empath, I have always taken the feelings of others, but I didn’t know it was possible to absorb their physical pain as well.
In any case I worked on myself last night, and the pain is actually gone (had it for a few days).
Thank you for sharing your experience, it helped me to understand my own and be more careful in the future. Any more tips to protect myself would be appreciated.
Hi, Sharon, I’m glad you found the blog helpful. Thanks for letting me know. Treating yourself is an excellent response to taking on energy from another person during a Reiki session and in other situations as well. If you know kenyoku (dry bathing), it is an effective technique for clearing your own energy prior to and after giving a session. I include other ways to keep one’s energy clean and to avoid taking on energy in my teaching. You may want to purchase a copy of my book (check products on my website) and/or check out some of the shared references following the post for additional information. Best wishes to you on your Reiki journey! Marianne
I completed USUI Reiki 1/2. I am the Registered Nurse who wants to make everything better for everyone. I am an “empath” and not the “empathy” type. I attempted successfully to support and assist many people with Reiki but I had to discontinue the practice. I was picking up on other’s ailments and became symptomatic without having their illnesses. I couldn’t understand what was happening to me until I spoke with a stranger who made me realize what was happening. I have always been very perceptive and picked up on the emotions of others around me though I didn’t have the words to explain the “why”. I want to be able to return to practicing Reiki without hurting myself. I can’t help others if I can’t heal myself. I have always felt a need to be of help to others, physically and emotionally. I am going to read some of the books you’ve recommended and I would love to know what I can do to protect myself and still help others!
Hi Marilyn, Your situation is common, in various degrees, to many Reiki students and practitioners and to others who are drawn to helping professions. Realizing I was taking on others’ energy was my impetus for learning how not to and for sharing this knowledge with my Reiki students. I’m glad you are checking out resources that may be helpful. As an empath, the consistent, daily practice of Reiki self-treatment is crucial to your well-being on all levels, as well as for the prevention of taking on undesirable energy.. An hour or more daily will bring optimum results, but even 15 minutes will have an impact. As you treat yourself, state and hold the strong intention that your body and energy field are free of any energy that does not serve you and that undesirable energy will remain outside of your energy field. Hold this intention throughout your workday and during any Reiki session you provide. If you would like me to demonstrate some of the self-protection techniques I teach my students, schedule a 30-minute mentoring session with me and we can meet over Zoom. Here’s the link: https://reikiforliving.org/scheduling/